I weighed myself this morning.
I took Isla to her 18 month check up today. It started really rocky. This age is notorious for the beginning of “stranger danger”. I remember Harbor doing the exact same thing at his 18 month appointment. The second we walked into the pediatrician’s office she was on her knees crying. The nurse called us back and I tried sticking her on the weight scale but she flat out refused. So the nurse suggested that I get on the scale first then pick Isla up to get her weight. My hands were full, I was flustered and of course I’m just ready to get the whole visit over with. I step on to the scale and suddenly I’m thinking, “OH. S**T.”
Guys, I haven’t weighed myself in months. I don’t even have some crazy reason other than my scale broke and afterwards I realized I felt totally content without it. I’m still motivated to workout, eat good and having it around was a little stressful anyway. I sometimes wonder what I weigh and I had this mental number that was about 5-7 pounds less than what I last weighed in at. So yeah, I was blindsided because when I stepped on and she balanced the scale…
I haven’t lost a pound.
Now, obviously some things could be factors like my monthly cycle and the fact that I was in jeans and shoes. But, still. It literally didn’t move. I’ve been working out 5 days a week for months on end and eating incredibly healthy and the scale hasn’t moved. Brace yourself because here’s the really crazy part:
I don’t even care.
In fact, I’m a little impressed.
I know I’ve been working out hard. My muscles are sore about 6 days out of the week. When I was putting my nightgown on last night Craig said, “Damn baby, you look good.” I could tell he seriously meant it. And ever since my girls’ trip to Fredericksburg I have really embraced my curvy figure (-aka- this huge booty). I can see and feel that my arms and legs have more muscle tone. All of my pants are big around the waist. I’m making progress. Even if everything I just said is completely made up in my head I’m making progress because I feel good.
Society puts far too much focus on the scale and I can’t believe it’s taken me a decade of yo yo dieting to figure that out. Muscle weighs more than fat, by the way. So becoming stronger means shedding inches but not always pounds. This is why it’s so important to take pictures and measurements rather than just relying on the scale. What’s an even better progress report though is your level of energy and your confidence. That’s what this journey is for.
Maybe one day I’ll care more about pounds. Right now I’m really focusing on the way I eat and advancing my workout routine each week. I’m open for change when I get tired of this or maybe I find some other method that makes me feel a little better, who knows. But I’m not stopping.
And I’m damn sure not replacing my scale.